Jun 09
Art Appreciation A couple weekends ago, I had the opportunity to ride with the excitable crew of Rockin Robbie Billz, Maniacal Mike Matthews and Trevor up to Nashville for Galaxycon. I never miss the chance to show up for these pop culture conventions so long as I know Billy Zane isn’t going to be present. …
Jun 02
The White Trash Devil “Ellen’s invited us to her church to see Lovella get baptized,” the wife said, having busted into the bedroom like a snack cake chomping dervish. I sat there at my desk frozen for a moment. An untrained eye would have mistaken my industry for literary endeavor. The reality of it was …
May 26
Demon Country The simmering cold war that existed between Lovella Sampson and I escalated into a near white trash holocaust over a pilfered extension ladder. My ex-stepmother-in-law lived in the neighboring trailer. She wanted to recycle the ladder for the few bucks she hoped the aluminum would bring. I wanted to keep the ladder in …
May 19
Taking a Moment for a Little Self Evaluation It’s that time of year again for the employees of Hydra Hydraulics, the annual employee evaluations. Ideally, there’s a meager raise involved with the evaluation to offset the slimmest fraction of rising inflation. Of course, there are no raises for me any time in the near future. …
May 12
Having Lived Past the Age of Reason “I’m really sorry I’m the one who has to be telling to this,” I tell my wife the other day. The tone of my voice doesn’t sound like I’m sorry, though. My wife who’s become a bit of an expert on my voice tones cocks a skeptical eyebrow. …
May 05
Just One Puff…Piece Sunday afternoon finds me straining to grasp at a subject I’d like to exploit for another weekly installment of the Polish Hammer Poetry Corner. After fifty-something odd columns I’ve written for “In Conversation,” have I finally exhausted my mental filing cabinet of petty grievances and wry observations? Not fucking likely. But I’ll …
Apr 28
Coon Dick Toothpicks and Other Political Atrocities The batshit crazy coming out of Washington doesn’t let up for a second. I’m tired of hearing about it, though it seems I’m intent on continuing to comment upon it. I’ve had enough of my eighty-year-old live-in father-in-law, Milt, offering his Fox News perspective. Finally, I just told …
Apr 21
Jesus Freaking with Frankenhooker I hadn’t thought about Patty Mullen in well over twenty years, I’m sure. When I saw her name listed as a guest at the Full Moon Tattoo and Horror Convention in Nashville, I failed to put name to face. The biggest draw for me this year, aside from the fact that …
Apr 07
Back to Fighting Ninjas Again When I think about myself, as a mildly neurotic, self-obsessed, self-analytical writer of confessional poems and columns sometimes must, and I think of all the amazing feats I’ve accomplished even though I was born without hair, my mind becomes a carnival, a lovefest, a celebration of all things Polish Hammer. …
Mar 31
One Flew Over the Chicken Coop The world is slam dancing on the edge of the mosh pit of mass insanity, my friends. Maybe Iran is an inferno of burning oil fields. Maybe Israel is a smoking crater. Who the fuck knows, and who can you trust to tell you? I can say with certainty …
