Bad Bunny Thrusting and Spinning Signs on Beach Blvd
I could have sworn I saw Bad Bunny thrusting
and spinning signs for a mattress store on Beach Boulevard.
I mean, I know he doesn’t need the money,
but still, it makes sense,
the thrusting and the mattresses.
I mean really, how many mattresses do you think Bad Bunny
could sell in a day? A thousand?
Or would there be too many lusty looky-loos
getting in too many accidents
hoping Bad Bunny would throw down his sign,
race over to pull them out of the car
and give them mouth to mouth resuscitation,
thrusting between breaths and chest pumps,
Spanish accent rap-singing in their ear,
you want to buy a new mattress, don’t you.
You know they would buy one in a heartbeat when they came
to, a California King, sheets and everything.
I mean, c’mon, think of how much commission
he could make side-hustling on the Thrust n’ Sleep tour,
thrusting and spinning and casting his hypnosis
on street corners for mattress stores everywhere.
I mean, the sign says Easter is about to go off!
Autographed pillowcases, complimentary breakfast huevos
and cigarette, plus free shipping to Puerto Rico.
All mattresses thrusted upon by Bad Bunny himself!
Libido and back resurrection guaranteed!
Brian Harman lives in Southern California where he received his MFA from Cal State University, Long Beach. He is the author of Suddenly, All Hell Broke Loose!!! (Picture Show Press). He is a Best of the Net nominee with works having appeared in Nerve Cowboy, Chiron Review, Meat for Tea, Misfit Magazine, The Literary Underground, and elsewhere.
