A Toast to Charles Bukowski
Andy from the café
lent me your books.
we discussed the way you found
the spiritual in the mundane,
in beer, whiskey.
Andy brawled with my roommate
over turning Bowie down
and someone yelled “I’ll call the cops!”
so Andy and I split and fucked
at his stepdad’s house.
men can get away
with knocking each other out.
women are less likely to.
women cut themselves if they want pain.
like you, Charles, I consumed
a lot of booze,
gin for me,
and waited for my life
to improve.
I was more like the men
than the women,
the men who
are callous and broken
and don’t try very hard
to make
things happen.
instead, I drank gin.
I lit candles when I drank alone.
it made me feel
like I had a fireplace, cozy and warm.
my insides felt warm too.
just to counteract the fact
I was all I had
in the lonely
universe.
just me
and gin.
Amanda J. Bradley has published three poetry collections with NYQ Books: Queen Kong, Oz at Night, and Hints and Allegations and has published poems, fiction, and essays widely in anthologies and literary magazines such as Paterson Literary Review, Chiron Review, Lips, Rattle, The New York Quarterly, and Gargoyle. Amanda is a graduate of the MFA program at The New School, and she holds a PhD in English and American Literature from Washington University in St. Louis. She lives in Indianapolis, and her website can be found at www.amandajbradley.com.
