by Teri Louise Kelly
You know what I am
The kind of girl gets on a plane & hopes it’ll crash
Gets in a lift & hopes the cable snaps
The kind of cold-hearted bitch from nowhere you know
Only goes to sea in the hope of drowning
Only crosses a bridge in the hope it’ll collapse
The whore that eats your synapses and sentiments
The slut that likes to cut & bleed/ slice & dice & knead
The biochemist’s wet dream
The manipulative dog
The sodomite’s poster girl,
The accident at the intersection
The hysterical freak on the ledge
The soap that came free of its rope
A mother’s ruin, a coffin lid, a lurking tomb,
A poisoned arrow a bitter apple the fruit that fell too far from the root,
Nothing you can touch or hold or feel – nothing real
Not a polygamist, misogynist or philanthropist
A poltergeist, an effigy, a cauldron,
Wound too tight, looking for the ultimate holiday destination
The kind of girl your daddy wanted to fuck but never did
The kind of girl your mother fears
The kind of girl existentialists immortalise
Because baby I’ve survived enough smashes
Crawled from enough wrecks laughing
Defied the plunge and the collapse,
I want to be inside your mind when it implodes
Inside your heart when it stops
Inside your soul when it escapes
Inside your liver when it drowns
Behind your eyes at the last vista
In Your mouth at the last supper
In Your balls when they shrink
In your lungs at the last breath
The kind of girl wants to rip the sky down
Tear the earth up
Mutilate art
Constipate thought
Defy wisdom
Burn literature
Drink the oceans dry
The kind of girl wants to desecrate
& obliterate
The kind of girl can’t give love
Can’t give head
Can’t give sympathy for no devil
The kind of girl they put on wanted posters
& milk cartons
& CCTV cameras
A ghost, a figment, imaginary friend
A love doll
A soft box
A laptop computer
A make believe book
A fictional character
A poem on the back of a toilet door
You know my name girl
Because you made me
I’m the empty cunt from hell
Doesn’t want to fuck you
Wants to fuck you up
Make you forget you thought
You ever loved me.