Kaf: n. A mountain, consisting of a single emerald, said to surround the world. "K. wondered aloud: how can a single mountain surround the world? It was baffling, this definition of kaf."

Kaiserzinn: n. An alloy of 84 parts tin, 9 antimony, 5 zinc, and 2 copper, resembling pewter, and taking a high polish: used principally in Germany for fancy metallic articles. "K., embarrassed by his date's lackluster kaiserzinn, offered Leni his hand, which was visibly clammy, as though taken to a high polish."

Kakerlak: n. A cockroach. "K. awoke from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed into -- what else? -- a giant kakerlak."

Kalian: n. The hookah of Persia. "Someone must have been spreading lies about K, or so he’s thought ever since his chronic paranoia, perhaps caused by nightly sessions hitting the kalian, led him to believe he would be arrested one fine morning."

Kamalayka: n. A waterproof shirt composed of seal or walrus intestines. "When K. jumped off the bridge he had forgotten to wear his new kamalayka; he got soaking wet."

Katun: n. A period of twenty years: an ancient Mayan Indian term. "K. dwelt in the loose palace of exile for a katun (that's about 500-something typical pay periods), playing strange games with the girls of the islands."

Keerdrag: n. A dragnet with small meshes at the end, used by zoologists in procuring marine specimens. "K., keen on catching crawdaddies, dropped his keerdrag into the stream, despite the nervous hill dwellers in the gentle hills around, reptiles abounding, fossils, caves, cruel air heights."

Kenlore: n. The science of knowledge. "K. originally intended to study Kenlore but wound up neglecting his studies after falling for a girl named Leni who gave really good hand jobs, thanks to a bit of duck-webbing between two fingers."

Kenning: n. A synonym or periphrastic phrase employed to diversify the statement of a thought, and stereotyped as such in poetry. "K.’s kenning statements and expressions demonstrated a roundabout, periphrastic manner that necessarily required obligatory and circuitous Rube Goldbergs."

Kentrokinesis: n. Movement caused by excitation of a motor nerve center. "K. quivered, a sudden kentrokinesis caused by Leni’s firm yet loving grip."

Kerchunk: adv. Suddenly, as if with a splash or a thump. "K. was struck upon the head by a hammer kerchunk."

Khur: n. The dziggetai. "If only K. were an Indian, instantly alert and on a khur, it would be quite a scene to see K. and his Mongolian donkey disappear: their souls stolen by paparazzi."

Kerslosh: adv. With a sudden splash. "K. dropped his cell phone into the toilet kerslosh."

Kerswosh: adv. With a great splashing noise. "After ending things with Leni, K. buggered inflatable dolls in the hot tub kerswosh."

Ker: n. A spirit or soul: sometimes represented by a small winged, malignant figure that causes disease. "K.’s special purpose -- perhaps possessed by an STD-bearing ker that had taken refuge in Leni's womanly domain -- shriveled several times beyond typical flaccidity, sprouted wings, and flew off."

Kerana: n. A long trumpet: used to signal sunset and midnight. "K. heard the kerana, and as night arrived with her purple legions, he retired to his tent and to his dreams."

Knackery: n. A slaughteryard for worn-out horses. "K., as though combing a knackery for old horses' teeth, scanned the dictionary for another word beginning with K."

Knismogenic: adj. Causing or provoking tickling sensations. "K., knismogenic as all get out, wore a fine layer of spandex beneath his suits to the Worker's Accident Insurance Institute, for fear he'd be overcome with giggling at the slightest touch of a coemployee's hand."

Knout: n. The official form of whip or scourge used formerly in Russia: of various forms but usually described as a bundle of leather thongs, often twisted with wire. "When it came to early-'80s songs involving knouts, K. preferred Devo’s Whip It to The Stones’ When the Whip Comes Down."

Kunstlied: n. An art song: distinguished from a folk song. "K.’s hot love for Josephine the Mouse Singer cooled when she stopped playing her pop hits and turned instead to sequencer-heavy kunstlieds entirely lacking in melody or intelligible lyric."

Kyestein: n. A peculiar albuminoid pellicle that forms on stale urine, formerly considered a sign of pregnancy. "K., about two weeks after giving withdrawal-style contraception a try, applied a clothespin to his nose, before checking fretful Felice's urine for traces of kyestein."

Kynurenic: adj. Denoting an acid derived from dog’s urine. "K. always marvels when he discovers words, such as kynurenic and kyestein; words that (1) are not recognized by Microsoft’s Spell Checker, and (2) have something to do with urine."

Kyriolexy: n. Literal statement, or use of simple, as opposed to figurative or obscure, language. "K. decided not to make the obvious joke about using the word kyriolexy when you could just say straight talk, plain and simple."