(the complete history of my sex life:1977-2011)
I had sex with a giant potato
I had sex with a devil of twine
I had sex with a martian bumblebee
I had sex with a frozen banana
I had sex with a lesbian gorilla
I had sex with an empty tuna can
I had sex with a bean burrito
I had sex with an apple dumpling
I had sex with an alligator toothbrush
I had sex with rusty scissors
I had sex with a toothless shark
I had sex with an 18 wheeler
I had sex with an angry chainsaw
–Tim Murray