I drank the exotic beer
and then a hot German girl
with milky, pale skin and big ones appeared,
and then after that
I ate the cat food and
then a meadow appeared
festooned with hundreds of animated fish,
and then after that
I brushed my teeth
with the new toothpaste
and then a photogenic version
of my wife appeared in the mirror;
we were both wearing white terry robes, Terry,
and then after that
I had some of that cereal
made from the fruit of the bran tree
and I smiled at the home breakfast table,
ready to face the day and happy in the knowledge
that I would be regular again
and that my ass would be happy,
and then after that
I bought the digital TV subscription
and right when I got off the telephone suddenly
I had four regular guy friends, all of us watching a football game
while a wife of mine brought in some buffalo wings to eat,
smiling behind her bright red crimson ball gag
and then after that
something must have been in that beer,
because after that
I shouldn’t have eaten the cat food,
because after that
and right before I blacked out
I remember hurting some people
who were watching the game with me:
I pushed John into an open daiquiri maker
there was so much screaming
I must have lost control
people were yelling at me to stop
someone threw a dog at me
–Rich Boucher