by Bud Smith
when all else fails I will be good
no more flip flopping, dragging along,
eating dust, dying slowly—pretending to like it
unvoided checks, power pills
invincible bubblegum, pink frosting
fake coins, dotted lines,
ripped maps, traffic signs—hope you slept well
no, I don’t sleep at all
ignored a long time at everydoor
on every door, hang a little sign
‘you won’t keep me out forever’
talk to anyone who’ll listen
about; neon fish, strange darting birds,
love in the warzones of the wild,
telephone wounds, vinyl records heaved at the moon
your father—and your mother—and the field
where they’ll be buried, one day
… for now, enjoy
doing donuts in the parking lots of hell,
busted streetlights, lost tickets,
notices in the mail, snail mail
memos from long lost prom dates,
sending yourself a full color fax while crooked
receiving it two days later, sober
saying, sincerely—I’m so thankful
for your love and correspondence,
you in the pouring rain, looking good
falling over— me in the mud, looking at you,
high fives with the wind, kissing blues
kissing stones, kissing anything that moves
tearing through the stations,
looking, listening, constantly revising
I’m not afraid of anything—and I won’t ever die
your friends, your patience, your lips
I feel them on mine—where you touched me,
it’s still pleasently stinging