As a child I was given a balloon
at Fayva buying shoes with Mom
I accidentally let go by the car’s back door
it flew from my hand went up and up
fast with my screams
high enough to see all of West Lebanon, N.H.
how small and flat that mall
surrounded by green
how excruciating my disappointment
I can still feel the distance between us
See everyone I care about as that balloon
rising up
while I stand in a shitty parking lot
rubber boots open mouth tears streaming
I try to steel myself against the moment
save extra balloons in the pantry
soak in aloneness on the edge of my bed
ready for its inevitability
I carry a big pin
to puncture red balloons
before they can break my heart
–Cassandra Dallett