{"id":223,"date":"2004-01-01T00:00:37","date_gmt":"2004-01-01T00:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/juicepress.theliteraryunderground.net\/?p=223"},"modified":"2004-01-01T00:00:37","modified_gmt":"2004-01-01T00:00:37","slug":"blehert-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/2004\/01\/01\/blehert-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Lost and Found by Dean Blehert"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lost and Found <\/strong><\/p>\n

Words begin to fail me, become hard to find —
\nnot that at 56 I’m fading fast, but I notice
\nbecause I’m so used to having words come easily,
\nanticipating my needs, mobbing me with possibilities,
\nsynonyms, interconnections. Words are my oldest friends.
\nWhen they hesitate or frown even slightly,
\nI notice. Thus already I can watch in slow motion
\nthe “dreaded ravages of age,” and this pleases me,
\nthis slow fading of known brain cells, because<\/p>\n

it confirms that this dying brain is not what
\nI am, as I hang here waiting, KNOWING the word
\nI cannot quite catch the tail of, waiting as one
\nwaits with swatter or cup for a fly to alight
\non a cold window, waiting for this flit of knowing
\nto hold still long enough to be seized, waiting
\nfor a word to arrive, no doubt by long labyrinthine
\nalternative nerve-pathways that by-pass ruined,
\nblasted cells — here I am suspended, knowing (but
\nunable to voice) what the brain refuses to
\ngive me — THIS is the divine frustration, this<\/p>\n

tip-of-the-self-ness, this certainty (even now
\nI can’t find the word for it), this knowing that
\nI damned well SHOULD know and DO know what persists
\nin remaining a total blank: It’s like looking
\nin the mirror and finding no reflection, this
\nhanging between knowing and data, this simple
\nknowing (here separated out for purest scrutiny)
\nthat, spoiled by long reliance on brain gadgetry,
\nis at last of necessity coming to know itself.<\/p>\n

–Dean Blehert<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lost and Found Words begin to fail me, become hard to find — not that at 56 I’m fading fast, but I notice because I’m so used to having words come easily, anticipating my needs, mobbing me with possibilities, synonyms, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,20,21],"tags":[124,86],"class_list":["post-223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-17","category-dean-blehert","category-dean-blehert-2004","tag-124","tag-dean-blehert-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=223"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/223\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=223"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=223"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theliteraryunderground.org\/juicepress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=223"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}