Category Archive: Issue #4

Dec 01

Pea-Souper Outside 30 E Congress

Ripper night so foggy streetlights seem to bubble like lava lamps. Dolly, in the designated smoking space, says solemnly, “Someone is going to be murdered,” then pulls a long drag on her super skinny fag. I silently say, “Thank god I’m not a whore anymore.” –Joe Eldridge

Dec 01

A Morbid Fascination

she told me she had dreams and grand schemes of successfully murdering her baby sister one day. this lanky young girl with gaudy motifs on her shirts her chest still flat and face too flushed from pre-adolescence. this lanky girl no heavier than my little finger telling me repeatedly over and over again how she …

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Dec 01

Spiked

i know there’s something in that drink you just handed me but as i am wont to wantonness and prone to sudden spells of suddenly lubricating my cheap underwear lined with lace i will gladly drink up and let you do whatever you deem fit there’s a whip in the boot cuffs under my pillow …

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Dec 01

Roundabouts

He drives too Fast To Impress his friends All dead tonight. She fucks whom she may Loving the attention Until she gets rot box. He loves the fast lifestyle Rip snorts it up. Until he drops cold at 37. He goes to the Mines The Money is too good Now gone to his widow. She …

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Dec 01

traces of mercury

“so i see that your are vaginally active,” said the doctor to his patient. his patient is a sexy naked colossally big-dicked young man. “i’m not sure what you mean,” said the patient to his doctor. “i’m just a regular guy.” “and yet, clearly you are vaginally active,” said the doctor. the doctor is a …

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Dec 01

the indisputable logic of the parsnips

“carrots and peas. carrots and peas. why must there always be carrots and peas?” says the sexy big-dicked teenage boy to his mother. “there aren’t ALWAYS carrots and peas,” says the mother of the sexy big-dicked teenage boy. “we have all kinds of other vegetables, too,” she says. “i like to think we have a …

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Dec 01

bubbles

when my ship set sail into the wilderness of mysterious fishes and odd critters of the saline nation, hardly anyone would talk to me. i was too eager. too ready to show off my keen biological knowledge and insightful ways of observing fascinating zoological marine phenomena. the other summer interns, were much more relaxed about …

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Dec 01

smackers and crackers

when using the special anti-clogging apparatus, it is important to make the insertion technique as smooth as possible. when done smoothly, insertion of the special anti-clogging apparatus can seem like a spring day, breezy, with a nice bright sun high above the fluffy white clouds. the special anti-clogging apparatus is competently and capably designed for …

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Dec 01

Fox News: First Impressions and a Potshot or Two

I discovered Fox News pretty much by chance. I had been going through my cable channels looking for a film or ballgame when I saw the Fox logo in the CNN slot. At first I thought that CNN was showing some Fox footage, but it soon became apparent that what I was seeing was Fox …

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Dec 01

All the Lesbians I’ve Ever Slept With: The Estonian

I have something of a chequered sexual history. My friends could reel off a whole list of insane women I’ve screwed. While we all make mistakes, I seem to make them more willingly than most. Admittedly, they usually follow about fifteen cans of Red Stripe and don’t always end in regret, but I do consistently …

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