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Jul 07

I Was Raped By 17 Large UFOs

(the complete history of my sex life:1977-2011)

I had sex with a giant potato
I had sex with a devil of twine
I had sex with a martian bumblebee
I had sex with a frozen banana
I had sex with a lesbian gorilla
I had sex with an empty tuna can
I had sex with a bean burrito
I had sex with an apple dumpling
I had sex with an alligator toothbrush
I had sex with rusty scissors
I had sex with a toothless shark
I had sex with an 18 wheeler
I had sex with an angry chainsaw

–Tim Murray

1 comment

  1. John Cougar Mellencamp

    Why did you leave me off the list, Mr. Murray? Fag!

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